Busy & Stressed = Toddler Death

The tragic death of Cecilia Slaby makes me nearly physically sick. Little Cecilia's mother, Brenda Nesselroad-Slaby, had changed her morning routine that day, stopping at a bakery for donuts and heading straight to work instead of dropping Cecilia off at the babysitter. Arriving at her job, Slaby pulled the eight dozen donuts out of the back of her SUV, shut the car doors and left her 2-year old daughter strapped into her car seat. For eight hours. On a 90-degree Ohio day...

you do the math. The toddler died of heatstroke, a slow and agonizing death, to be sure.

Nesselroad-Slaby, an assistant principal at a middle school, is quoted as saying, "I was trying to be everything to everybody and I failed my daughter." Damn straight she did, and her little girl is dead because of it.

Now listen, before all you parents out there flame me to a crisp, hear me out. I know it's hard bringing up children. I know you're busy. I know you have a lot going on. I know you're preoccupied. And yes, parenthood is an unbelievably taxing job. But this mother was absolutely right when she said she failed her daughter because she was trying to be everything to everybody. At what point does being "busy and preoccupied" get to the point where you fatally neglect the most important thing in your life?

The moral of this story? Slow down a little. Stay as present in the moment as you can. Pay attention! You may find you enjoy your commute a bit more or notice a beautiful sunset. Or maybe you'll just avoid killing your own child.

 

Comments

[Charity Wilt]

if anything this should be a wake up call to all parents...to anyone who is around children. Pay attention. Be in the moment. Don't put too much on your plate that causes you to loose focus and concentration, good advice, Monica

[Terry Lessig]

Where I live (Phoenix, Arizona) such a story is repeated with regularity, only it alternates between that and infant drownings. Here, the interior of a closed car will reach nearly 160 degrees in about 15 minutes. I call steaks done at a lower temperature than that! I don't know why parenting isn't "job one" for some, or how they can possibly forget the most important cargo.
Thanks for calling attention to this. Perhaps it will prevent a tragedy, and I certainly hope you don't get flamed for it,

[Monica Ricci]

Charity and Terry, thanks for your comments. I try to keep my blog light-hearted but now and again you just have to say something when you see stories like this. Ugh. Terry, I hope I don't get flamed either for expressing my opinion, but hey, if I do, so be it.

~Monica

[Iris]

A comment on the linked story says the TV story says that the woman went out to her car several times during the day. It's too bad that no one did a drug test on her early on, when the results would have been meaningful. In much the way my husband and I say "I smell alcohol" when hearing stupid car accident stories, in this case, I smell meth.

Do you want this ditz in charge of YOUR child's school?

[Tanna]

Great advice Monica. As a mother of three I just don't understand how someone can be so busy that they forget their own child in the car. It saddens me to hear these stories. Recently I had to go in the bank and two of my children were in the car sleeping. I would be in there 5 minutes - tops. I woke them both up and took them in with me. That alone took me more than 5 minutes but I couldn't leave them. Five minutes could lead to an eternity if something bad happened. That's not a risk I am willing to take.

[Monica Ricci]

Tanna and Iris, thank you both for your insightful posts. I appreciate you stopping by.
~Monica

[gayle]

Oh Monica,

The sad thing, as others have pointed out, is that this has happened before. It happened to a sleeping infant a few years ago in Lakewood, NJ. Same thing... forgot to stop at the babysitter. We also had one or two where the kid was left IN THE CAR SEAT either on the curb, or worse, on the trunk and landed in the street when the car pulled away.

I can't speak for other countries, but America is seriously lacking in Mindfulness. We are always worried about 10 steps ahead, and worried about what we did 10 steps ago. The past is gone, don't sweat it. The future isn't here yet and may be drastically different in 5 minutes than you'd ever expect (as I post this on 9/10). So don't sweat the future either.

JUST BE PRESENT RIGHT NOW!

[Diane Palmer]

My child is my dog & I once left her in a locked running car with air conditioning & parked under a shaded tree to run into the bank to make a deposit so just imagine how paraniod I would be with a child in the car. How do you remember to get 8 dozen donuts BUT FORGET YOUR CHILD IN THE BACK SEAT!! I just don't understand this. No matter how many times I read this I still can't get my brain around the fact that she remembered the donuts but not her child. She walked into school where there were other children & still did not remember her child. Why didn't the babysitter call to find out why she hadn't dropped the child off? Was she so deep in thought that she didn't see her or hear her when she opened & closed the car doors? Did no one else see or hear the child? We really need to examine our priorities in life if donuts take precedence over a child. I realize life is extremely busy & stressful & everyone is trying to keep up with the joneses but I would like to think that my childs safety & wellbeing would be my priority. Being an adult I feel sorry for the children of this world NOT the adults, adults make this world what it is & what it will be for the children. It angers me & breaks my heart that Heaven has another Little Angel before she has had the chance to experience life & what it has to offer. I'm sorry that something horrible like this has to happen to make people stop & look at their priorities. It's sad very sad.

[Breda]

The thing that bothers me most about this story is that the mother left the child in the car for 8 hours, which means that the mother NEVER ONCE stopped during her oh-so-busy day to even spare one single solitary thought for her own child. She never thought to herself, "Gee, I wonder how my child is? I think I'll call the babysitter to find out." NOT ONCE in 8 hours.

This woman should not have a goldfish, let a one a child.

[Melinda]

As a mother of two, I simply don't understand how someone can forget their child. I also don't understand why the babysitter didn't call to find out where the child was. Reading a story like this really makes me thankful for my decision to be a stay at home mom.

[Monica Ricci]

I read a stat that said since the mid-90s, 310 children have suffered and died in hot cars in the United States. THREE HUNDRED AND TEN.

Minfulness, indeed.

~Monica

[Robin]

This story (and others like it) made me absolutely sick! My husband and I recently became certified to be foster parents and I remember that while we were waiting to get a call for a child, that I would have nightmares that I would forget the child somewhere.

But, when we got a beautiful 9 month old baby girl, there was no question that I would (or could) ever forget her! She consumed my thoughts throughout the day, even if it was just to stop and look at her picture and think how blessed my husband and I were to have her, even for a little while.

I'm sure that this woman's punishment will be the fact that she will have to live with what she's done for the rest of her life, but as far as I'm concerned, that's not nearly enough.

Robin

[Monica Ricci]

Robin, what a lovely comment. Thank you so much. I know those foster kids are grateful to have caring foster parents like you and your husband in their lives.
~Monica