Kids = Adults-In-Training

"You come here this instant, young man!"

If you're a parent (or you used to be a kid) you've probably said or heard those words at one time or another. I got to thinking about the terms "young lady" and "young man" and how so many parents have forgotten that their children actually are quite literally young ladies and young men. Kids are just Adults-In-Training! And I have to say, it's surprising to me how many parents treat their children like babies looooong past the baby stage.

Obviously, infants are totally dependent on their parents for every need. However, as kids grow, they become more and more capable and I believe a parent's primary job is to recognize their abilities at every age, and teach the child important life skills, so when that little Adult-In-Training eventually leaves the nest as an adult, they're...

fully prepared for life on their own. In my opinion, anything less is a disservice.

If you're wondering how to begin giving your kids responsibility, here are some age-appropriate tasks that kids can (and dare I say should) be doing:

Ages 2 – 3
Help make the bed (pull covers up)
Pick-up toys
Hang clothes on hooks
Carry laundry to and from the laundry area
Help feed animals
Help wipe up spills
Bring in the newspaper
Help pick up the living room

Ages 4 - 5
Any of the others plus:
Make their own bed
Clear dishes from the table
Set the table
Retrieve the mail
Dust the furniture
Help in the kitchen
Help carry and put away groceries

Ages 6 - 12
Any of the others plus:
Take care of pets
Cook simple foods
Help wash the car
Vacuum, sweep and mop
Clean the bathroom completely
Rake leaves and shovel snow
Use the washer and dryer
Hang and fold laundry
Take out the trash

Ages 13 and Up
Any of the others plus:
Change light bulbs
Replace vacuum cleaner bags
Wash windows
Clean out refrigerator
Clean stove and oven
Prepare a meal
Make grocery lists
Do all laundry functions
Mow the lawn

Giving your children regular responsibilities from an early age does so much good! First, it teaches them that a family is a team and everyone contributes!  It also helps build their self-esteem and they learn crucial skills such as problem-solving, decision-making, prioritizing, project management, planning, delaying gratification, and others.  In addition, they learn the basic life skills they'll need to be self-sufficient and wildly successful when they get out into the world!

Comments

[Jon King]

Right on!

[Sarah Kimmel]

There is actually a really great book about this called The Parenting Breakthrough by Merrilee Browne Boyack. It's available on Amazon. Also, I completely agree Monica! Great post!

[Terry Lessig]

If children see cheerful adults doing such household chores, they will want to emulate them as early as possible. But we hire that work done so we don't have to clean, or mow the yard, and that sends a message that certain work isn't worthy of our time. When I was a child, I couldn't wait to be allowed to help with chores that I saw the oldsters doing. You're right--it leads to success as an adult, and when I grow up, I plan on being successful.

[Monica Ricci]

Jon, Sarah and Terry, thank you so much for your comments. I am on a MISSION to get parents to involve their kids in running the house and contributing to the success of the Family Team.

I don't think it's flat out wrong to pay someone come in to help with household chores. However, if it's to the EXCLUSION of your kids learning how to do these things and helping out in between the housekeeper visits, then I believe you do your children a grave disservice. These are all the skills they need to be able to do for themselves once they leave your home.
~Monica

[Terry Lessig]

Ooops. Didn't mean to imply that domestic help is wrong. Many of us have no children to train up, or the task is already done. I cherish my Tuesdays with FiFi in her little French Maid uniform. I'm usually neat as a pin, but I always try to make a few messes way down low on Mondays so she has work.

[Jacki Hollywood Brown]

Many parents want to get their kids into sports so that they can learn to be "part of the team". The family is the first team that the kids are part of, and the team that they will be on for the longest.
At 16 years old, a child should be able to "run the house" (basic cooking, laundry, etc). They may be able to run it at 13 but some may need supervision especially when using the stove/oven.
As a parent I feel that it is my job to teach my kids how to do it for themselves. I must thank my parents for teaching me all that they did. I don't know how many clients I have served that were unable to put a towel bar on the wall, hang a picture or unplug a vacuum cleaner hose.

[annab]

I'd add that older kids might benefit from helping with the family budget, to get a sense of how to manage the money for a household. Little self-budgeting of pocket money is good practice, but a home budget is a big thing to learn, and a lot easier when the final spending decisions are monitored by the parents.

[Monica Ricci]

Jacki and Annab, I agree with you. The more you can teach your kids the more they will benefit once they leave your nest. Whether they're tiny or in high school, and regardless whether it's about how to do laundry or how to balance a checkbook, they will thank you later. Not a day goes by when I'm not grateful to my mother for making me work hard as a kid. I didn't love it then, but at a certain age, you figure out that your parents do these things out of the most amazing love, even when it would be easier for them to do everything themselves.
~Monica