I recently wrote a post titled Life Lessons From Laundry, explaining all the great lessons that laundry teaches kids, besides the actual ability to do laundry. It got me thinking about all the other great lessons kids learn by being given household responsibilities when they're young. It also made me think of the sad result of NOT asking children to contribute in the home...
Children who are not asked to contribute to the daily responsibilities of a household eventually grow into ADULTS who don't know the first thing about the basic tasks involved in running their own lives. (I think that should be a giant "DUH", but some parents really don't connect those dots...)
After several weeks of being cared for, baby birds leave the nest having learned how to fly, how to find food, and avoid predators. Thanks to instinct and instruction of mama birds, the babies have all the tools they need to survive on their own. Children, however, even after 18 years at home, aren't always so prepared when they leave the nest.
It's easy to assume that kids will simply "know" how to take care of themselves and their home, but unless they're proactively taught basic life skills while they're still under Mom and Dad's roof, they're forced to learn them the hard way after they move out. What college student needs the burden of learning life basics while at the same time, adjusting to being away at school? Won't your kids have enough stress acclimating to college classes, professor expectations, time management, logistics and social life without the added stress of figuring out how NOT to turn their white underwear pink in the laundry? Do you really want your 20-something living in a filthy apartment, surviving on Ramen noodles and wearing dirty socks to his first job?
Laundry, cleaning, cooking, and other basic life skills should already be second-nature by the time your kid gets to college, so he can focus ALL his attention and energy on getting good grades and starting his work life. These aren't the years to be learning the stuff he should have mastered by his 12th birthday.
So in case you're wondering how you're doing, here are Ten Simple Ways to Produce an Inept Adult:
1. Clean his room for him every week. Make sure you leave a note that says what a good boy he is after you're done vacuuming and you've pulled last week's dinner plate out from under the bed.
2. Pack his lunch every morning. Don't forget to cut the crusts off his PB&J sandwich.
3. Get him a dog for his birthday. Then take care of it yourself. What's the matter? Carrying around a bag of dog poop twice a day isn't so bad.
4. Wash, dry, fold and put away all his laundry. Before you do, remember to go around his room picking up all the clothes off the floor and smelling each item to see if it's really dirty or if he just threw the clean clothing there.
5. Cut the lawn yourself. Or better yet, pay a neighbor kid to do it while your kid plays video games indoors.
6. Drive to school and drop off anything he forgets in the morning. Sports equipment, band instrument, backpack, or his lunch. Whatever it is, go out of your way to drop it off, even if it means you're late to work yourself. Do this every time he forgets.
7. Micro-manage his homework. Ask him 4 times each night what homework he has, then review it with him, helping him with any parts you think you understand. Agree strongly when he complains that he'll never use geometry in real life. Do this all the way through his senior year of high school.
8. Keep a sparkling house. Or pay someone to do it for you. Any time cleaning is going on, make sure he's out of the house playing with his friends so he doesn't get in the way, and the house is cleaned "properly".
9. Pick up after him daily. Be sure to stay on top of the trail of glassware, candy wrappers, socks, shoes, books and toys he leaves behind him throughout the day.
10. Give him as much money as he asks for. Be sure you require no accountability or exchange of value for this money and for Pete's sake, don't open a savings account for him or show him how to budget money or balance a checkbook!
These ten simple steps will ensure that you raise a child that will turn into an adult who remains dependent on you (or someone else) just to handle the basics of everyday life. Won't you be proud?
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