Your Life. Organized.

The Secret Wisdom of Chores

If you're a parent (or you used to be a kid) you're familar with the concept of chores. My grandmother was born in 1914. Growing up on a farm in central Pennsylvania with twelve brothers and sisters, I guarantee you she and her siblings knew the meaning of the word chores. In today's world, family farming may not be quite as common as it used to be, but chores are as important as ever. In fact, I'd say they're even more important today for reasons besides the simple fact that the cows need milking.

Consider for a moment the basic tasks of modern life... housecleaning, cooking, dishes, laundry, lawn care, car care, communicating with service providers, and pet care to name a few. As adults, mastery of these simple skills is a big part of life running smoothly and as adults, we should be able to do these things with our eyes closed. Yet, how can we expect to master them by adulthood if we don't learn them as kids?

As kids grow from infancy to adolescence, they become more and more capable but only under the direction and teaching of an adult. A parent's primary job -- aside from providing love, food and shelter of course -- is to recognize their child's abilities at every age and teach that child life skills, so when their little adult-in-training leaves the nest they're fully prepared to fly on their own. To do anything less is a terrible disservice to them.

If you're wondering how and when to give your kids responsibilities around the house, here are some age-appropriate tasks that kids can (and dare I say should) be doing:

Ages 2 – 3
Don't expect perfection or independence, just encourage them to help. They love helping at this age! It's the concept and introducing the habit of helping that's most important, not the task itself.

Help make the bed (pull the covers up)
Pick-up their toys and put them away
Hang clothes on wall hooks
Put dirty clothing into a hamper
Help feed animals
Help wipe up their own spills
Help clean up in common areas

Ages 4 - 6
They're able to work more independently at this age and boy do they want to do things on their own! Again, show them how, supervise and praise, but don't expect perfection. Your goal is to help them succeed, not to do it for them.

Any of the above plus:
Make their own bed
Help set the dinner table
Clear dishes from the table after meals
Retrieve the mail / newspaper
Dust the furniture
Help cook and bake
Help carry and put away groceries

Ages 7 - 12
They're getting more independent and proficient by this age, especially at 10 to 12. Try not to micro-manage if you can help it!

Any of the others plus:
Take care of pets
Prepare simple foods
Help wash the car
Vacuum, sweep and mop
Clean the bathroom completely
Rake leaves and shovel snow
Help with laundry
Hang and fold laundry
Take out the trash

Ages 13 and Older
Rejoice! If you've taught them well, by this age you should be able to leave a list and expect great results!

Any of the others plus:
Change light bulbs
Replace vacuum cleaner bags
Wash windows
Clean out the refrigerator
Clean the stovetop
Prepare meals
Make grocery lists
Do all laundry functions
Mow and edge the lawn

Giving your children regular responsibilities from an early age is so good for them! (Despite that they may protest) It teaches them that they have something to contribute, since they can't contribute to the family team financially. They learn that valuable contributions can take forms other than money. Chores also teach kids accountability and in the midst of learning to do simple household tasks, they learn important skills they can apply in other areas of life, such as problem-solving, decision-making, prioritizing, project management, planning, and delaying gratification. 

One of the greatest benefits of chores is your child's growth. As children learn and master increasingly challenging tasks, their self-esteem and overall confidence builds. By giving kids chores and making them accountable for their household responsibilities, you prepare them well for the day they leave your nest and build their own.

Many thanks to PippaD for the image of her adorable baby boy in the picture above! (I just love little baby hands!) You can find PippaD's blog right here. Hugs to you and that sweet boy, PippaD!  :o)

 

 

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Quote of the Week: Risk

"There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction."

John F. Kennedy
35th President of the United States

 

 

 

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The Right Tools

Getting organized isn't just about clearing the clutter and extraneous stuff from your life. Admittedly, it's a huge part of it, but even when you regularly declutter, it's still possible to feel disorganized unless you have a maintenance system in place. Without a maintenance system in place it's easy to backslide and end up buried under clutter again.

A system is comprised of two parts: Tools and habits.

The tool is the physical item, the product or the software you employ to assist you.

The habit is your actions, ideally the consistent use of that tool.

 

It's a simple equation:  TOOLS + HABITS = A SYSTEM.

I've had many clients who have bought lots of organizing products (tools) over and over but still remain disorganized. They believe that the tool is the answer when in reality, it's their behaviors and habits that make a bigger difference.

Let's say you're sick and tired of hunting down your keys, cell phone and purse every morning on the way out the door. You waste time, you get aggravated and sometimes you're late because you can't find the things you need quickly. It's frustrating! You decide that you're going to create a system for getting out the door on time and effortlessly. But how do you begin?

First, you notice your traffic pattern as you enter your home. Then you notice your habit of throwing items on the kitchen counter every time you come home. That wouldn't be so bad, except that during the course of the evening, items get moved around and they never end up in the same place twice. Now we're getting somewhere, super-sleuth!

The first step to create your system, is choosing a tool to assist you. Try attaching an inexpensive hook to the wall just inside the door for your keys, or placing an attractive basket or container nearby to hold your cell phone and your wallet or purse. When you come in the door, simply hang your keys on their hook and place your other items in the container. Simple system.

Tool plus habits equals system. Voila!

The system is simple and effective however, it won't work unless you commit to changing your habits consistently. If you come home and walk right past the hook and basket to throw your stuff onto the kitchen counter won't work. If you can't bring yourself to use the system, you may as well not have bought the hook and basket in the first place.

But if you can make the small changes you need to maintain a new organizational system, you'll see that in a very short time you'll be into a brand new positive habit. Remember, having the right tool is half the job. USING it consistently is the other half. When you combine tools and habits together, you have an effective, simple system for staying organized!

 

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Quote of the Week: Doing

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."

Walt Disney

 

 

 

 

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Big Fat Hairy Deal: Organizing Hair Accessories

I'm childfree by choice but many of my readers and clients have daughters at home (or are daughters themselves.) If you know anything about girls, you know we're made of sugar and spice and everything nice -- plus a healthy dose of hair doo-dads and thing-a-ma-jigs.

Adorable hair bows, scrunchies, combs, clips, barrettes, brushes, and headbands to name a few. Cute as these accessories may be, they're not so cute when they're scattered all over the bathroom, bedroom, and floor. Like other small household items, hair accessories tend to migrate and end up in the most unlikely places, including underfoot, and some of them they hurt naked feet only slightly less than stepping on a wayward Lego.

To keep your favorite girl's fabulous essentials from taking over the house, take a tip from her jewelry and corral them using any of the following handy tools:

 

Overdoor jewelry organizer
Although it's made for jewelry, this overdoor organizer keeps scrunchies, hair elastics and headbands orderly and off the countertop. It can also be mounted on the wall if you don't have an unused door.

 

 

 

 

Clear pocket jewelry organizer
Similar to the overdoor jewelry organizer above, this organizer hangs on any wall or over  a closet rod and its small compartments are perfect for hair accessories such as barrettes, clips, and elastics. The clear vinyl keeps everything visible too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jewelry drawer divider/organizer
If you have drawer space to spare, drawer dividers are an easy way to keep hair accessories not only organized and tidy, but also out of sight. This one has two levels, however there are plenty more single level products that will work just as well to keep your beauty essentials organized.

 

 

 

 

Jewelry hand
Is there a more fun way to keep hair accessories "handy" than this? You'll get a high five every morning when your girl can easily make herself beautiful with easy access to all her bands, clips and ribbons. What a great way to keep them all close at hand!

These examples show you how easy it is to creatively re-purpose an organizing product for something other than its intended use! If you look around your house I bet you'll see products that you can re-purpose and use in unconventional ways to help you and your family be better organized too.

 

 

 

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Quote of the Week: Judging

  "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

 

Mother Teresa

 

 

 

 

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5 Ways Being Selfish Serves The World

Selfish. It's a loaded word, just like simple is. Historically both have had negative connotations. Simple can mean intellectually inferior and is often used as an insult. Yet when I say I help people create simple, joyful, powerful lives, it means something very different.

The same is true for "selfish." Nobody really wants to be thought of as selfish -- you certainly don't want to overhear a conversation where the selfish SOB being discussed is YOU. We're all familiar with the classic case of The Sacrifice Mom who always puts her kids' and husband's needs ahead of her own. Who wins in that scenario? Certainly not mom. She ends up exhausted, stressed out, cranky and perhaps resentful. The husband and kids don't win either, because even though she's sacrificing her own wellbeing to care for them, she's definitely no fun to be around.

I'd like to propose that we shift our perception of the word selfish, and give it another chance.

Think about this... is the man who takes precious time away from his family to golf twice a month being selfish? Is the woman who tells her children "No you may not come on vacation with me and Daddy" being selfish? How about the boss who reduces his open-door office hours from all-day-every-day to just a few times a day? Or the busy grandmother who would rather miss a ladies luncheon than skip her daily appointment at the gym?

If it were up to me I'd call those activities perfectly acceptable examples of self-care, or if we want to be less clinical, perhaps the word "self-interest" is more appropriate. There's nothing wrong with being self-interested, and in fact, it's an important part of the human condition which helps ensure our survival. Self-interest ensures that you do what's necessary to take care of yourself -- you take responsibility for your own happiness,  set healthy boundaries and treat yourself well.

Here are 5 ways being self-interested serves those around you:

1. Service.
A pump over a dry well can't quench anyone's thirst. When you're depleted, how much good are you to other people? EXACTLY. None! But when you take steps to be sure your own needs are met, you're much better equipped to attend to the needs of others.

2. Engagement.
When you take time to do things you enjoy, you're employing Stephen Covey's 7th Habit, Sharpen The Saw. This recharge allows you to be more clear-headed, engaged and effective in your life, work and decision-making, and when you sharpen your saw, you're not resentful of time spent giving and doing for others.

3. Inspiration.
When you set boundaries to limit your exposure to drama, chaos or incompetence, you're also setting an example and inspiring others who may need desperately to do the same thing, but have trouble doing it themselves. Your example is a powerful thing.

4. Growth.
When you put your own needs and responsibilities ahead of those who are too dependent on you, you give those people a wonderful gift -- self-reliance. They learn to solve problems, be more independent, they become resilient and ultimately they grow.

5. Understanding.
When you deliberately allocate time and energy to do things which serve you -- your health, your happiness, your peace of mind, your personal and professional growth -- you understand when others do it too. You are no longer hurt or annoyed when someone takes steps to care for themselves because you understand the importance of it.

One way you can take a stand and do something good for YOU, (whether your spouse or kids are on board or not), is to organize part of your life that's not working.

Choose something that's hindering your happiness or effectiveness, even in a small way. Simplifying processes, setting relationship boundaries, creating easy life management systems and communicating your wants and needs clearly... these are all ways you can be healthily self-interested, and in the process, be better in every way, for the people around you.

 

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Quote of the Week: The Best Prize

"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing."

Theodore Roosevelt
26th President of the United States

 

 

 

 

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Your Disaster Top Ten

Fire. Flood. Tornado. Hurricane. We've all seen headlines about natural disasters or perhaps even experienced one. When you have only a few minutes to get out of your house and get to safety, and you're forced to leave most everything you own behind, what do you do? Do you have a pre-made disaster kit at the ready? How do you know what to take and what to leave behind? Many of my colleagues encourage having a 'Grab and Go Box' that contains all manner of personal paperwork including insurance policies, birth records, real esatee documents and much more. I think that's a fantastic idea and I highly recommend it. 

But what about everything else? What would you take with you if you had the time to gather it up? What ten items mean so much that you'd elect to save them from certain destruction? Would you take your jewelry box? Your photo albums? Your iPad? Your $150 flatiron? How about that awesome La Creuset skillet you saved your pennies to buy?

All the things we live with daily have a nearly invisible hierarchy, until we suddenly have to choose between them, leaving most everything behind. The clutter pecking order becomes crystal clear and your attachment drops quickly when you think about having to bail out in an emergency.

So let's play a game: Let's say you had time to consider it, ample man-power to move it out, and space in your car to haul it away... but you have to choose what to leave behind. Which ten things would you grab on your way out the door? The comments section is waiting for your answer!

 

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